The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (and His AK47)

Many see the National Rifle Association (NRA) in the United States as a force for good. Many recognize the NRA as a force for evil. To some, it is the heroic protector of the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution. To others it is the organization that allows gun violence to take the lives of over 30,000 citizens each year.

Yet, did you know that the NRA is also in the business of publishing fairytales? Actually, the NRA publishes children’s classics that have been re-imagined to include guns. Now you can enjoy classics like Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns) and Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun), with wholly appropriate gun violence and NRA-fashioned endings, as they should have been intended.

So, I can’t wait for handguns, semi-automatic rifles and more instruments of efficient death to take a stand in our classic American literature: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (With an AK47),  Invisible Man (and Lots of Guns), The Great Gatsby (and His Glock 40), Moby Dick (and the Tomahawk Cruise Missile).

But, why stop there?

We need to re-imagine Shakespeare’s works complete with shotguns, and our best poetry would certainly benefit from several truck-loads of tactical nuclear weapons, And, of course it’s time to give Jesus a well-deserved sniper rifle and a couple of literary grenades to love fend of the Pharisees, devil, Pilate, and Judas Iscariot.

Thank you NRA for opening the minds of our children to real possibilities.

161 thoughts on “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (and His AK47)”

  1. The problem with this mindset is that it only works out for a small percentage of people living The others are fucked, and are the ones you hear about living paycheck to paycheck even at high salaries due to lifestyle expansion and are in debt up to their eyeballs when most people who played it casual and were socking away money into their 401 k through their 20s and 30s are thinking about But yeah go have fun and network, it’s necessary for

  2. Apesar de não deixar de ter a sua quota parte de razão, esse artigo, tal como indica a fonte, foi baseado na informação da ANF (Associação Nacional de Farmácias), sendo apenas transcrito e adaptado para o nosso site, no entanto concordamos com o que indica e procedemos à rectificação do mesmo.Desde já obrigado pelo reparo.

  3. Nice pearls, although I will say I’m no expert. To me the pearls we:1) Silky smooth2) Well formed (very round, not deformed), and of uniform size.3) Exactly 18 inches4) Shipped with a simple cardboard blue box with blue bag included, suitable box for giving as gift. Box is nice but not a lined jewelery box.5) No certificate or documentation stating them as sea pearls or AkoyaI took a picture but not sure how to upload it.

  4. – My favorite summertime tradition is Georgia! Ever since I was a kid, summertime = grandparents, and I feel SO LUCKY to be 24 and able still have both of them around They’re almost 90 and still healthy as ever! Growing up means paying bills and working full-time, however without question, every summer I love getting to feel like a kid again and going to spend time with them, it’s by far the best summer tradition I could ever have!

  5. Bu kitap değişik olacak izlediğim kadarıyla bende bir flashseverim ve kitabınızı gerçekten sabırsızlıkla bekliyorum hatta bir görüşüm olacaktı bilmem paylaşırmısınız bu kitabınızla ilgili bir forum sitesi yapılabilir ve her konu a dan z ye masaya yatırılır ve öğreniciler flashı kolay bir program durumuna sokabilirler.Evet fazla söze gerek yok..Kitabınızı bekliyorumSaygılarımlademir alkanlar

  6. 16/04/2011 – 8:58pmTodos los que dijeron que la acción de Valdés con Cristiano en la primera vuelta era penalty, tienen que decir ahora sí o sí que la jugada de Casillas y Villa es penalty, son dos jugadas casi calcadas. Pero claro, ahora los interesados se harán los suecos y dirán que no es penalty. Indignante.

  7. a ver si me podéis despejar una duda… Estoy barajando la idea de comprar un Kindle, pero hasta ahora, tampoco sé muy bien como funciona…Si algun amigo pudiera traerme un ‘Kindle touch’ de USA… ¿este funcionaria correctamente en España? Es decir… ¿tendria problemas para comprar libros, etc, etc…?¿sabeis si podria tener algun tipo de problema?Supongo que los libros se adquiriran via Wifi… pero la verdad que estoy bastante perdido…

  8. ciao Mattia…allora ci hai proprio beccato in una pausa “piada e salsiccia” o “castagne e cagnina” ) grazie ancora x il tuo interessamento…le news sulle nostre iniziative le trovi su questo sito…oppure puoi venirci a trovare presso la nostra sede di S.Martino in Fiume a Cesena….solitamente ci siamo il giovedì sera!!! a presto lele

  9. Penis… penis… penis… vagina… vagina… vagina…. i’m a drug addict not salts tho. i am wanting to find the shit to see if its better than addy or rid mixed with my personal opoid… long story short… life is not about who you do? its how many you do and what you to to get there. getting ass and fucking shit up! if i go brain dead in the process eat a face or two that’s my my bad…

  10. Thanks for linking to me again, Deb! I would underscore that Parable-stories are probably the easiest of Godly Play materials to create for at-home use. And it’s a wonderful way to introduce children to the language/genre of parables.Storyteller recently posted..

  11. Lets hope that at some time I will possess the knowledge to write these kinds of good content including the ones you have. Mike produces a personal blog site, and right kitchen. In the event that you where drive an automobile recent many lessons as a writer, i want to know!

  12. Tanema hvala ti.Sa slikanjem zabuÅ¡avam jer nemam vremena, na žalost.Za nasliakti jednu sliku treba vremena, dana, mir…PoÅ¡to imam puno obaveza trenutno ne stižem.To je moja ljubav koju sam sada ostavila po strani jer se igram sa decoupageom.On je jednostavniji i brži, a slika je proces koji traje.Jednog dana ću otvoriti svoju galeriju slika i nastaviti raditi ono Å¡to najviÅ¡e volim, a to je slikanje.

  13. Why are people on this blog always so angry and negative? Ever hear the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything”? If you think $10 is too much, fine. No one is making you attend. From the attendance in the past, there are obviously a lot of people who disagree with you.It takes a lot more muscles to frown than to smile. So, give those muscles a break!

  14. Томский электроламповый завод (ТЭЛЗ) приступил к производству морально устаревших ламп накаливания мощностью 95 Вт, тем самым пытаясь сохранить нишу на российском рынке дешевых ламп большой мощности. Так что, прорвёмся.

  15. >流しに食べ終わった食器がありました。私も脈ありかと思いますよ。もーもーさんも「なぜかそんなことが嬉しく感じました。」で、愛情があるみたいですし。お子さんが3人ともまだまだ手のかかる時期ですよね。でも、旦那さんはどちらかというと、寂しさを募らせているように見受けます。一家の大黒柱なんだからシッカリしろよっ!と、「あれしてくれない!!」「これしてくれない!!」「私がこんなに大変なのにまた浮気!!キーッ!!!!」で毎日ギャーギャーギャーギャー。『こんな家に帰りたくない』 そんな感じなのではないでしょうか?だから、『うるさい!』『めんどくさい』『でてけ』『離婚しておまえの理想の人みつければ?』になるのではないでしょうか。何人も書かれていますが、離婚はいつでもできます。準備できていようがいなかろうが、何とかしようと動けば何とかなるもんです。今はそれよりも、関係の修復を試みてはいかがですか?もーもーさんの旦那さんはどんなご家庭を築きたいと言っていましたか?仕事で疲れて帰ってきたら、「貴方はこれしてくない」「また浮気して!」「なんで!!」顔を合わせれば自分を責めるだけの妻。子供にかまうだけの妻。おこちゃまと言えばおこちゃまです。でも、それが貴女の旦那さんなんです。貴女が求める理想の旦那さんではないのです。世間一般がうらやむ旦那さんではないのです。寂しくて自分だけをみてくれる女性を求めてフラフラ。とんでもないことですが、反対に言えばこのおこちゃまを理想のだんな様に変えるのも、もーもーさんの手腕にかかっているともいえます。今度帰ってきたら、何も言わずにニッコリとお帰りなさい。子供の世話をしつつも、旦那さんもかまう一工夫。してくれないことを前提に「あれしてくれたら嬉しいな(^^)」しなかったら責めずにスルー、してくれたら「ありがとう!!すっごく助かる!!」優しく、笑顔で、もちあげる。まだ、顔を合わせるのが無理でしたら、追記されたことを繰り返すでもOKかと。子育てに旦那育ては大変だとは思います。でも、子供はいずれ巣立ちます。その後に残るのはもーもーさんが育てあげた、『妻を慮る旦那様』 なのです!もちろん、それでも浮気がなおらない場合もありますので、お子さんが手のかからない時期にきましたらパートなりで蓄えをしておくのも良いかと思います。

  16. Grieving is a personal thing for each one of us. We each do it differently and in the time it takes. The time is different for everyone. Give yourself a break and take it easy on the “getting on with your life”. That too, will happen in your own time.Luv to u

  17. OMG, you guys are truly depressing! You should log off the computer and go outside and get some air. Yes it’s bad out here but I think that the economy is not the reason the majority of you want to kill yourselves. You guys have had serious issues to begine with.

  18. Greetings Mrs. Elaine:)I was blessed by your post, you love your man very much!:) Home court advantage! That is super sweet for him to say! I pray that your marriage would continue to be blessed by God as it has. Love in Christ to you:), ((HUGS)),katiegfromtennessee

  19. grazie per il bonazzo. Per l'anno prossimo, vediamo. L'idea di un gruppo X-Men non mi dispiacerebbe.@Marcus: proprio quella E ad averci una frazione, del fascino di Fassbender.@Ettone: non l'ho visto. Magari c'era, comunque non avevo fatto in tempo a preparare Beba. L'anno prossimo, direi.@Luigi: pochi Wolverine e piuttosto scalcinati, quest'anno, in effetti. L'anno scorso, era pieno.@Mitvisier e Elgraeco: non avete neanche un'idea del salto di praticità. ;)@Mauro: è stato un piacere.@Angel-A: ti vedo bene come Fenice.

  20. Hi, Lisa! Great to “hear” from you. Our work-from-home experience went very well. Ironically, when I returned to the office on Wednesday after Sandy, my computer crashed. I was quick to offer to go back home, where everything was working beautifully.

  21. There are, obviously, several hotels in West Palm Beach to choose from.  Be aware that there is technically no beach in West Palm Beach, so you won’t find a room with a view of the ocean.  The beach is actually in neighboring Palm Beach, and you’ll pay quite a bit more for the coastal location.  You can save money and still have easy access to the beach, shopping and nightlife by spending your nights in West Palm Beach.  I personally recommend the West Palm Beach Marriott.

  22. The NDAA gives us the ability to have political prisoners and destroys part of the Bill of Rights. Now Obama is supporting the United Nations Gun Control Treaty. The dictatorships of the United Nations Human Rights Council don’t approve of human rights or freedoms in their own countries. The United States does not need to become more like the creul dictatorships of the United Nations. Our Bill of Rights and our Constitution is what makes us different. It is why people keep coming here.

  23. Ne pas laisser l’homme au bâton s’occuper de ses mortsc’eut étédis……Courtois(avec un « C » majuscule à Courtois :comme les myosotis se dressant sur la collinelui s’est couché dans le vallonnous ne l’oublions pasnous ne les oublions pas)j’ai beaucoup aimé votre petite fiction.merci

  24. My favorite recipe is raw gingerbread cookies!â– 120g dates (packed 3/4c) â– 38 g raw almonds (about 3T) â– 1/4 tsp ground ginger â– 1/4 tsp cinnamon â– 1/8 tsp nutmeg â– 1/16th tsp cloves â– tiny pinch salt â– 1/4 to 1/2 tsp vanilla extractInstructions: Blend like crazy. Then form into little cookies!IT would be so wonderful to have a food processor to do the blending instead of mashing it into my magic bullet repeatedly!

  25. mba, ptama2 makasiy ya resep2 nya,,buat aku yg masiy newly syeneng de rasana bisa nyoba2 bikin kue trus ada guidance na ^_^mu tanya dunk mba, kalo cream cheese kita campur ke buttercream enak ga y?pengaruh k tekstur krim nya ga y? Takutnya buttercream stlh dicampur ma cream cheese jd gampang lembek (krim ny jd turun)mohon info nya y mba… Makasiy.. ^_^

  26. anything to the effect of “Fine, but let’s make sure that’s where it really goes.”. They were too busy dissing the idea that government infrastructure spending would help because it would, after all, only be temporary stimulus because the government can’t create jobs. That’s certainly what I was hearing from pretty much every Republican and the overwhelming majority of conservative pundits as well as comments in the blogosphere and media.

  27. I almost agree. Here's a simple calculation.3 mrem = 0.03 mSv0.03 mSv per passenger flighttimes 7,000,000,000 flights (10 years)equals 210,000 passenger-Svtimes 1 cancer per 10 Sv (BEIR VII)= 21,000 solid cancers= 10,500 deaths (10 years)So airlines are killing people with cancer at the rate of 3 people per day.

  28. Imagine if this guy were talking about how Social Security should be cut back because it encourages the survival of “superfluous” elderly and disabled people? Or better yet, elminate welfare to put an end to the breeding of “superfluous” African Americans — remember those golden oldies from the right wing back in the Reagan years, rhetoric about so-called “welfare queens?”

  29. Denise,It’s a love/hate relationship. Obviously I love the freedom technology allows but I hate the loss of “flow” that happens when you have to configure something, set something up, or something breaks.I’m looking forward to focusing on a few areas of technology deeply but cutting back on the number of apps, tools and platforms that I use…

  30. Là ou la politique met le nez,c’est la déstruction,qui est-ce qui a crée les talibans et Ben Laden pour stopper les russes,c’est bien les Américains ( CIA) qui a financé,armé,informé,entrainé , cette vermine destructive avec la complicité des Pakistanais, c’est toujours les américains. Maintenant ils viennent nous inculquer leur fausse démocratie.Ridicule.C’était un trés beau pays , paisible avec ses traditions enracinées et ancéstrales..

  31. (5)I think every politician is an opportunist to an extent. That’s why Hillary Clinton voted for the Iraq War. She thought it was a prudent tactical move in her life-long quest for the presidency. I think Romney would do well in the general election against either Clinton or Obama. Romney has far more executive experience than either one of them. Romney also has far more ability than either one of them. This could become evident during a long general election.

  32. Tu as raison sur le principe, mais il n’est pas applicable dans ce cas là. Apple a tout a fait le droit de retirer de son Store, tout produit qui ne lui conviendrait pas, et en en informant l’éditeur (dans ce cas). Le problème ici vient de la raison évoquée pour justifier ce geste, qui pose un grave problème d’ordre moral et de pouvoir.Mais comme rien ne t’oblige à acheter le livre sur l’Apple Store, et qu’il doit être disponible de nombreuses autres façons, on ne peut pas les poursuivre pour ça.

  33. Alice Through the looking glass turned out to be about a female sniper who’s story is told from the perspective of her looking through a night scope on a 308

  34. The three little Pigs were gang members with police records, the Wolf was a straw buyer, and not only huffed and Puffed but went to Virginia and bought Saturday night specials for all three

  35. I read Snow White who had a derringer in the Red Bow in her hair. When the Prince Kissed her, she woke up and shot him by accident, and then in court claimed Stand Your Ground defense.

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